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'76 Pontiac Grand Safari Wagon

Ever seen the bumper stickers that read: "My other boat floats"? Well....it was THIS kind of car they were usually on! These were most definitely your proverbial "boats" when it came to vehicles! Big old beasts, but usually spacious and a decent ride(for the times!).

This page highlights the old Pontiac my mother had for a year or so and the saga of my driver's test in this big old boat.......definitely an interesting story! Below is a picture of a '75 Grand Safari Wagon....sorry I don't have a picture of the actual car she had, but this is close. Sorry it's not in color either.....Hers was that light tan with that awful woodgrain stuff, so it really looked pretty much like this:

Anyway...the story of this '76 my mother had intertwines with the story of the '75 Monte Carlo I got at the time as well. It was while my brother and I were test driving the old Monte Carlo that we saw this Pontiac wagon on the side of the road for sale! After we made the deal on the Monte Carlo, we drove up to look at this Pontiac. It was in very nice shape and all, but was also 10 years old, so it wasn't brand new either. We got a decent price range to consider and told the guy we'd have to check with our Mother and see what she thought.

Since I didn't have my driver's license and it was a Saturday, with my birthday AND driver's test being on Monday, things happened pretty fast over these few days. Thus, we'd have to go BACK later just to get the Monte Carlo as when you only have a "permit" to drive, an older licensed driver has to ride with. After we talked to our Mother and she agreed that $575 was all right for this car, as long as we thought it was, we called the guy back and asked him to hold it. Well...later THAT night, with a caravan full of us in my brother's pickup cab, he, his wife, their daughter, our mother, and I all went down to bring these back. My brother came back in the pickup with his daughter. His wife drove my mother's "new" car back, and I, with my mother as the older licensed driver, came back in the Monte Carlo.

OK....here's the dilemma: It was Sunday all the sudden. I was scheduled to take my driver's test the very next day in a car I'd never driven......and it's one of those humungo boats of the 70s! Nervous? Nah!!!! I was mostly under the impression that these driver's examiner's didn't pass "guys" on the first try anyway.....so scheduling the test for my birthday was mostly my plan to make sure that the two weeks you had to wait to take it again came as soon as possible. Besides, can you imagine parallel parking one of these boats? I KNEW I wouldn't pass the test. AND, the only other alternative was to take the test in the Monte Carlo, which was more or less a boat itself....and which wasn't in as good of condition as this Pontiac.

Well....my mother and I went out for a little "Sunday" test driving for me to get used to this boat! I recall trying the parking brake and, well, I broke it! Things were NOT looking good. Monday morning we had to go downtown to get both cars licensed! I ended up missing an entire day of school instead of only the afternoon because of this. Not that I complained!

Well...afternoon came and it was time to head to the licensing depot! Guess I was a little nervous by that point! So, I go out on the test with this guy over there with his "clipboard". Don't you ever wonder what kind of things they write down!?! I don't recall much of the test, except the parking brake(which I had to explain to him)....AND, the so-called Parallel Parking attempt. Fortunately I got to try that in a residential area! However.....when he opened his door to see how far I was from the curb, I could even see at least 3 feet of pavement from where I was sitting! OUCH! Hey....YOU try parallel parking a yacht sometime....especially when you've got an examiner in the passenger seat! I REALLY KNEW now that I had blown it! He didn't say much, but then when we got back to the "depot", he said we'd go in and "discuss this". Yep....I knew it.....then he asked my mother to come over and be a part of it as we walked in the building. UGH! This is getting worse! Rub it in......

So, he's talking about how important good driving habits are, and that I'd need to work on my parallel parking(no kidding). THEN.....he says "oh, by the way, you did get a passing score on the test" HUH?!?! What?!?!?! You're kidding? Nope.....apparently that old boat and I did just fine on the test! He said if I kept up my good driving habits I'd be fine.

There was ONE thing he also mentioned that day that I still recall to this day. He mentioned that "The real test of being a good driver is not the test I just took, BUT, that it's out there driving in the EVERYDAY traffic." THAT is where the real test is. I guess I can't argue...that IS true!

So.....what a wild few days. As of Saturday morning...no car in the family, no license...nothing. Monday afternoon.....TWO cars in the family(both running!) AND I even had my driver's license! It was a little odd to get used to so suddenly. I drove that old "Boat" now and then, but mostly was driving my Monte Carlo after that. It's too bad they don't make those old boats anymore....they had alot of nice features.....and not a shabby ride either. Tons of space, and this Pontiac had a pretty good AM/FM radio in it too...something new to us at the time!

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